In 2005 I lived for four months on Shiraishi Island in the Seto Naikai and was much inspired by the spirit of place. It’s a small island that takes an hour and forty minutes to walk round, yet it’s full of intriguing history and attractive
spots, offering wide views over the Inland Sea from the craggy rocks that run along its spine. There’s no convenience store, not a single traffic light and a population of 700 or so that seems to get older and fewer by the month. At the top of a small mountain was a stone desk which I used in the mornings to do my writing, while soaking in lungfuls of healthy sea air and gazing over the silent panorama of blues and greens. It was the kind of setting in which poetic thoughts gush up uninvited. Pure heaven!
Torii by the hill –
A silent spring summoning
To the way back home
O my mikuji
Dangling from the rucksack:
The bees scurrying
Ah, my heart leaps up!
A rock in the spring sunshine
With shimenawa
Here all is still
There is nothing but the sun –
Amaterasu!
This island spring time
A surprise round every bend:
Red-toriied Inari
Harmony in spring
The sounds of nature singing
To the tune of life
On the Shinto mailing list Marc Ignasi made the following critique….
Congratulations on your haiku skills!!! I think they are excellent. I think it would be easier to decide which one do I prefer if I were to know the real image or situation that inspired you in each case, but meanwhile here comes my opinion:
Torii by the hill –
A silent spring summoning
To the way back home
Very intimate, but somehow detached from nature.
O my mikuji
Dangling from the rucksack:
The bees scurrying
I like quite a lot this one, very refreshing, it takes the reader to he very spot, I feel as if I was the leading actor in the haiku.
Ah, my heart leaps up
A rock in the spring sunshine
With shimenawa
I also fell very connected with this one, once again very descriptive, very illuminating, with the typical freshness of haiku
Here all is still
There is nothing but the sun –
Amaterasu!
There’s something in this one I don’t really feel as really working, that “still” and “nothing” concepts together just give me some odd feeling in a haiku, don’t get me wrong, I think they somehow don’t fit well together in a haiku, it just gives a slight western poetry touch which in haiku I don’t really appreciate.
This island spring time
A surprise round every bend:
Red-toriied Inari
The word surprise once again to much western, maybe some “kana!!!” sort of word, if there is an English equivalent would do the work, ??
Harmony in spring
The sounds of nature singing
To the tune of life
This also to much western flavour, too straight forward. These last two are the ones I like less. But anyway I think they are excellent, congratulations! When I’ll know which real image gave each inspiration I may change completely my points of view.
Best wishes
Marc Ignasi